Total Read Time: 4 Minutes
LIFE HAPPENS. YOU GET FAT. What now?
I’ve been there…
I realized something 35lbs ago, in 2014: Feeling unhealthy sucks.
I woke up while I was getting ready for work. My eyes were opened at the same time as the nerves in my back squealed, “HELP” I would have said it myself if I wasn’t holding my breath on the left sock.
“I got fat.”
No one knows it’s happening until it’s too late. I got fat. Nothing like a pair of socks to put the fear of God into a man first thing in the morning.
I’m not here to sell you a workout tape for the same reason You’re not here to do sit-ups. I want You to smile every time you put on your socks. Just like I do.
Step One: Break up with your Microwave
You’d be amazed how little of a limitation the microwave is, once you stop buying microwave purposed food. Processed, par-cooked food is not always bad for you, but forcing yourself to use your stove top will reconnect you to your food.
The point here is to get you thinking about what you’re eating. All while making it harder to eat the foods that are admittedly too accessible right now.
Yes, cook your own food. Besides, Restaurants are expensive. Your 401K is hungrier than you are, I guarantee it.
I heard great advice early in my cooking education: “If you’re going to eat anything you want, make it yourself, from scratch.”
You heard that correctly. Cut your own potatoes for French fries. Mould your own burger. Bake your own pizza. Carbonate your own soft drinks. I’m serious, I brewed my own beer. 🍻
Odds are, you won’t be putting in the unpronounceable preservatives into your meals that you see in pre-made microwave meals.
Also, don’t take this too seriously… everyone inherently knows what’s good for them. There’s a reason ripe fruit looks and smells so damn good. Dark leafy greens are the epitome of healthy to me; especially the veiny ones.
Step Two: Sweat Purposefully
Forget the word exercise. This isn’t about getting jacked. This is about waking up feeling good as hell and putting on socks without pain.
Sweat does not mean run, it does not imply gym, and it does not equal pain.
Stay within your skill level and don’t get overzealous. Play. You should feel great. Throw a frisbee. Go for a bike ride. Move your body.
Step Three: Set Stakes
Put money down, whatever amount means something to you, that you will lose if you do not reach your reasonable goal. You’d be surprised how much motivation you have when some money is on the line.
For me, what works better is a Kantian enlightenment I had. (See favorite quotes) I repeated a process of letting myself down.
I realized it’s easier to get over my laziness than getting over a depressive guilt streak.
Let’s emphasize reasonable: make sure your goal is not impossible nor too easy. Start small, stay consistent.
Step Four: Most Important Step: Reward
You did it you beautiful human, now give yourself a reward.
Set this celebration up on your calendar
A week in a row of sweating and eating well
Make the reward worth it
Salmon works really well for me. It’s just luxurious enough that I don’t get to eat it every day. So after an agreed upon consistency in sweating,
“…winner winner salmon dinner.”
If you spend all week eating like a pig, but only had one good day, you’ll still feel like a pig. Same goes for the reward.
Don’t feel guilty if your reward takes you to a Chinese buffet. It’s your cake. Make it worth it. Stay on task all week, pig out one day, you’ll still feel great.
Step five: start today, start right now
What are you waiting for?
(Yes, I respond and read every one)